How Sad Life Would Be Without Parodies

Here's a video in response to President Obama's speech to the children of the nation.

Pet Peeves of the Pisser

I don't have a goat, but if I did, this would totally get it.

Why is it that new buildings install just one or two pieces of automatic equipment in their restrooms? It doesn't make sense! I mean, if you're gonna go sensored, GO ALL SENSORED! It only makes sense that a public restroom would have an automatic soap dispenser, an automatic faucet, an automatic towel dispenser AND an automatic toilet flusher, not just one or the other.

And don't even get me started on the automatic toilet flushers. Those things can be dangerous. How many times has your chapstick or keys or phone slipped out of your pocket while you're getting up off the pooper? With these newfangled automatic pooper flushers, you're screwed. You can kiss your pee-soaked belongings goodbye. Because let's be honest, who doesn't want their pee-soaked chapstick back?

I Can Feel It

I'm still sad. And angry. I can feel it in my body. I can see it when I look in the mirror every morning. That happiness, that passion that I used to see in my eyes is gone. The radiance in my skin and hair is absent. How could it be there? I've lost two of the most important people in my life.

I must say I've done remarkably well going ahead with my life, even though this really isn't my style. The last breakup I went through had me in my pajamas for a month. This time I refuse to be that person. I will, under no circumstances, let the people who have hurt me have that much power over me. I'm enrolled in school. I go to class everyday and I love what I'm learning. I've made new friends. I go out on the weekends and have fabulous times. I have goals and aspirations. I just haven't quite found the inspiration to accomplish them yet. My heart hurts. It feels like it's been broken into a million pieces once and then once again.

Why did it happen like this? Was it a refining fire in my life? I grew tired of being put down all the time. My decisions are not to be taken personally. They are mine, not yours. And You, oh how I miss You. You taught me so much. You made me laugh, you made me think, you made me grateful, you brought to me tears of joy, you brought me You and most importantly, You brought me a piece of me. A piece of me I wasn't sure existed.

And, so here I am. Me. A me that didn't realize the strength that was within me. A me that temporarily lost her passion but refuses to live without it again. A me that forgot who her true support system was. A me that loves myself, even though it isn't always easy to find that love. A me that is Me.

My Latest Addiction

I love reading the wedding announcements in the New York Times. I'm used to seeing people with these fabulous lives and educations and careers in movies and such, but when I read these, they become real! I mean, there are actually people out there, ordinary people, who are researching cures for cancer, acting on Broadway, doctors, lawyers and living life. They have these tremendous educations from Yale, Harvard, MIT and they're looking for love, well actually they've found it already. I just think it's interesting that regardless of where we live, where we went to school or what career path we choose, we all have one thing in common: We want to find that one true love.

As a sidenote, I've also developed an interest in Judaism. I want to learn more about that religion and there are tons of Jewish people in New York.

Miracles Come with Vibrating Wands

This stuff is freaking amazing! I'm not one to mess around with bases and primers and all that jazz, but this stuff makes my eyelashes look like, 6 inches long, I swear. I thought the whole vibrating mascara wand would be dangerous, but it's not bad at all. You just put it on before your regular mascara--which by-the-by can be any brand. LOVE IT!

How Grateful I am...

...to have a President that understands just how important it is to let the children of America know how wonderful they are and how much each and everyone of them is capable of achieving. President Obama's speech was truly inspirational. Not every child is fortunate enough to have parents to tell them that it is their responsibility to do well in school. Not every parent is fortunate enough to be so eloquent in telling their children this, either. I personally don't understand why anyone would not want to watch this speech and especially not want their children to watch it. But that's ok. I don't need to understand that. They're the ones that are missing out on a beautiful, eloquent speech and lesson. We are an extremely fortunate country to have a President that will speak to the children, not belittle them and hold them accountable for their decisions and lives.

The President's speech was geared toward school-age children, but I think every single person can take gain from listening to his speech. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves and our future. It doesn't matter if we're still in school or not. This may seem very simple to some, but for others, this is a hard lesson to learn. My only hope is that those people watch this speech and feel inspired because of it.

Irony

Isn't it ironic that Matt said, "I love you" but apparently doesn't. I never said it, but I did (or do).