I Can Feel It

I'm still sad. And angry. I can feel it in my body. I can see it when I look in the mirror every morning. That happiness, that passion that I used to see in my eyes is gone. The radiance in my skin and hair is absent. How could it be there? I've lost two of the most important people in my life.

I must say I've done remarkably well going ahead with my life, even though this really isn't my style. The last breakup I went through had me in my pajamas for a month. This time I refuse to be that person. I will, under no circumstances, let the people who have hurt me have that much power over me. I'm enrolled in school. I go to class everyday and I love what I'm learning. I've made new friends. I go out on the weekends and have fabulous times. I have goals and aspirations. I just haven't quite found the inspiration to accomplish them yet. My heart hurts. It feels like it's been broken into a million pieces once and then once again.

Why did it happen like this? Was it a refining fire in my life? I grew tired of being put down all the time. My decisions are not to be taken personally. They are mine, not yours. And You, oh how I miss You. You taught me so much. You made me laugh, you made me think, you made me grateful, you brought to me tears of joy, you brought me You and most importantly, You brought me a piece of me. A piece of me I wasn't sure existed.

And, so here I am. Me. A me that didn't realize the strength that was within me. A me that temporarily lost her passion but refuses to live without it again. A me that forgot who her true support system was. A me that loves myself, even though it isn't always easy to find that love. A me that is Me.